"Realization"? NOT!
I guess, there will be a point of time when you actually sit down and ask yourself, "Why am I here, suffering? What is my purpose?". This is actually happening again. There are people who would just dismiss what I have just said, thinking that they are too "great" or don't have time to think about such stupid stuff.
Well, I can't do anything about their arrogant mentality or maybe I think too much(I don't!). It all comes down to insecurities. What can I actually do if I have eczema and people keep looking at me as if I don't want to cure it. Even worse, chanting "skin disease". As much as I have pretty much a feminine thinking towards some things, which more or less affect how I act, I detest being called "gay", "sissy", whatever.
People look at me as if I want to act how I act or have what I have on purpose. Do you think I want to be judged every single day with discriminative comments? I admit, I love my mentality, the way I think and feel, which I can say that it is so much more complex than the way I have been and am perceived. However, the part of how I act, I'm just not aware of how it is seen by a third party. Put yourself in my shoes, being so fucking different. People saying stuff about you most of the time. How does that feel?
More or less without saying, I'm used to being called you know what. That doesn't mean that I'm a vegetable! You think I don't react to it? I pretend to act normal on the outside but deep inside, it hurts so so bad. Your own 'friends' calling you that. It's just so despicable of people to discriminate someone who is different.
You people don't know how much it is killing me. Perhaps it is more of, "It's none of my business, why should I care?". Good luck to you...
So, in my conclusion, what is my purpose. I'll let the higher power decide. Perhaps whatever is happening now is the effect of karma. I will accept it, like I said in the "poem".
-Logen (I have decided that I would be more truthful in my blog. I can't stand just talking about things that are so superficial. Really would defeat the purpose of me blogging.)
Well, I can't do anything about their arrogant mentality or maybe I think too much(I don't!). It all comes down to insecurities. What can I actually do if I have eczema and people keep looking at me as if I don't want to cure it. Even worse, chanting "skin disease". As much as I have pretty much a feminine thinking towards some things, which more or less affect how I act, I detest being called "gay", "sissy", whatever.
People look at me as if I want to act how I act or have what I have on purpose. Do you think I want to be judged every single day with discriminative comments? I admit, I love my mentality, the way I think and feel, which I can say that it is so much more complex than the way I have been and am perceived. However, the part of how I act, I'm just not aware of how it is seen by a third party. Put yourself in my shoes, being so fucking different. People saying stuff about you most of the time. How does that feel?
More or less without saying, I'm used to being called you know what. That doesn't mean that I'm a vegetable! You think I don't react to it? I pretend to act normal on the outside but deep inside, it hurts so so bad. Your own 'friends' calling you that. It's just so despicable of people to discriminate someone who is different.
You people don't know how much it is killing me. Perhaps it is more of, "It's none of my business, why should I care?". Good luck to you...
So, in my conclusion, what is my purpose. I'll let the higher power decide. Perhaps whatever is happening now is the effect of karma. I will accept it, like I said in the "poem".
-Logen (I have decided that I would be more truthful in my blog. I can't stand just talking about things that are so superficial. Really would defeat the purpose of me blogging.)
