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Alright, I didn't blog for a few days perhaps. *sighs* Quarreled with my mum. Not going to fill you in on the details though. Probably understood why she was so stressed. But what about me!? I know we have financial difficulty and you think I'm not affected by it?
Okay, that's not what I quarreled with her about but I know, it was on her mind. I mean, face it, it was one of those thing I constantly have to think about. All those things I think about are really interconnected. If you remember my really upset previous post, it is interconnected financially. Not only that, they(my family) thinks that I don't even care for them at all. Well, if that were true, I would never have felt as if someone stabbed me in the heart whenever I saw anything in the shopping mall that I really wanted to buy for them but could not afford it. I wouldn't lock myself in the room thinking of some SHIT to help us financially.
It's such a classic answer when, sometimes I stay out late(until maybe 8 or 9) on weekdays and I'm accused of gangsterism and womanising... WHATEVER! I really needed some time out and I'm accused of something. How convenient... I would be so happy if I were a womaniser!!! This is why, my looks is so constantly onmy mind. It just hurts so bad. Just taking some dilute liquor helps a little but it gives you a Bloody headache.
It's not really like this anymore. I mean, the accusations stopped. Quite alright now. However, I just can't help thinking. Once bitten twice shy... Learnt that valuable lesson from someone. In fact 2 someones who I feel so ashamed to talk to sometimes. They somehow mean alot to me but not close to me.
Sometimes, I feel so hypocritical. I don't think I really contradict myself but it somehow feels that way. Diana help me... Blessed be...
Okay, that's not what I quarreled with her about but I know, it was on her mind. I mean, face it, it was one of those thing I constantly have to think about. All those things I think about are really interconnected. If you remember my really upset previous post, it is interconnected financially. Not only that, they(my family) thinks that I don't even care for them at all. Well, if that were true, I would never have felt as if someone stabbed me in the heart whenever I saw anything in the shopping mall that I really wanted to buy for them but could not afford it. I wouldn't lock myself in the room thinking of some SHIT to help us financially.
It's such a classic answer when, sometimes I stay out late(until maybe 8 or 9) on weekdays and I'm accused of gangsterism and womanising... WHATEVER! I really needed some time out and I'm accused of something. How convenient... I would be so happy if I were a womaniser!!! This is why, my looks is so constantly onmy mind. It just hurts so bad. Just taking some dilute liquor helps a little but it gives you a Bloody headache.
It's not really like this anymore. I mean, the accusations stopped. Quite alright now. However, I just can't help thinking. Once bitten twice shy... Learnt that valuable lesson from someone. In fact 2 someones who I feel so ashamed to talk to sometimes. They somehow mean alot to me but not close to me.
Sometimes, I feel so hypocritical. I don't think I really contradict myself but it somehow feels that way. Diana help me... Blessed be...
