Logish Lifestyle

                    

 

After typing nearly half of this post, I realized that it was of complete redundance; I cannot reveal what had upset me, for fear of trouble that will cause my kinsman(yes, that's how I feel about them). Sincerely, they have deeply saddened me. I beg not to watch their life, dwindling into the deepest abyss of melancholy and sorrow; I have suffered enough, through that all.

 

Might thou think, what harms, will help? An, only, moment- sufficed to damage.

 

All humanity-hitches, snags, thereby sorrowful; melancholy transcends the mind, are but of omnipresence. Wherefore thou conceive thyself to be of lonesomeness, albeit with sight, be able to see oppression for oppression. For all one knows, sight of thyself in supposed grief, have taught eyes to see but thy pain. Attatchment... the word that sum up all.

 

Finally, remember your promise, break it if my friendship with you is of no importance. Do not make me shed tears for you (I nearly have done so; the wound in the heart sheds no blood but tears.). Yea, with confessions I make- I love in a brotherly manner, too much, to take the pain of watching...

 

 

 

Blessed be...

 

Since, I have got nothing to do-other than tedious assignments handed out, which honestly, I can do without-my decision to blog as of now, is final. Does that make sense? Yea, I think so...

 

Without further ado, I believe I had contrary  myself by making this statement. There'll be an ado, for I, Logen, has forgotten what I'm to blog about.

 

Alright, forget it... Let me just say that, Bala, a friend of mine, who, by the way, also is my useless and usually annoying Accounting Partner will be leaving for The United States, New Jersey! Before you assume, from my previous sentence, a connotation of dislike for Bala, I deny it. He is one of those people who acts like an effing(forgive me for euphemism) idiot, but you'd still like him. Go ahead and make the assumtion that he has a very annoying alter ego, especially when he's in his clan.

 

So, Bala, if you're reading this, 'Bon Voyage. You're finally leaving!*lol*, Nay, I'm only but joking. Despite the difference, I'll miss you, a lot. However, one cannot measure the loss and emptiness, until the loss itself. If the sixth sense serves me right, the loss, will be nothing less of great.'

 

Damn! I shouldn't have blogged about this; I finally, have come to terms with the fact, which, I had refused to believe before, Bala is leaving on the coming Saturday.

 

Just let me leave you, Bala, with a quote, that I decided to be my favourite quote, "Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity, is really conformity." In short, be yourself...

 

Awoken by the alarm clock at the hour of three-I start my day. Breakfast, supposedly last night's dinner, that I did not have. No doubt I have risen from rest to mug; the impending Physics Test.

 

Damn! I'm currently lacking the capability of focusing on this mundane subject. Most truthfully, I prefer Chemistry and the teacher who has hands of iron; unafraid of heat and chemicals. I have not a clue as to what else there is for me to say...

 

Thus...

 

Goodbye-Ciao-Saiyonara!

 

Having registered my blog, on Technorati, nearly 15 hours go, it's time to figure out how to make changes to the template and other features. I'm in need of a guru; the enlightened blogger, whatsoever.

 

By the way, I'm stuffed to the throat with Scottish shortcakes, that suspiciously smells and tastes like Danish Cookies. What is the world coming to? Nevermind, ignore me, for now I'm a bored, rambling idiot.

 

Earth to Logen, so, as I was saying, I need knowledge on how to spruce up the blog. Some day soon, I'll learn...

 

You have, apparently, read the title.

 

So, envisage blogging without compromising speed and, of course, convenience. I do not have to log on to Blogspot, for the sake of posting. I'm able to add images, links or files without the tedious process of html coding. Finally, (*I sing*)-"money-money-money!". Receive cash, through advertising. It's like killing three birds with one stone(No, I have no wish to kill three birds though.).

 

What, then, is my secret? -I know, it's such a cliche for comercial use. Qumana Editor!

 

Could my fear be a sign of weakness? Why then, had I felt sickeningly weak? Disgust of that fugly(fucking ugly) dog poop - I don't mean this figuratively(alright, partly only!).

 

My doubts on how my life was lived, perhaps, returning, but yet, vanishing. Blurry messes... I need some alone time. 

 

 

My love, for love, has made me forget my worries on narcolepsy. Eversince my first year at secondary school, I've been having sleep paralysis (I did not know the term for it at that time), with hallucinations; frightful ones, shadows, death.

 

Over the years, I know not, if the condition worsened; it was iregular but, the hallucinations got wilder. Not forgeting, late last year, I got the impression that I was being suffocated during paralysis. A few days ago, the paralysis occured thrice; after I got out of it, I returned to the state. This, hasn't happened previously.

 

Now, you can see why it worries me. Let me drop the bomb now-figuratively, of course-it is one of the symptoms of narcolepsy! Another symptom, read this previous post: http://logishlifestyle.blogspot.com/2006/02/lethargy.html - being tired even after ten hours of sleep.

 

What is narcolepsy? Basically, a condition in which, you sleep all of a sudden without warning; you could be in a conversation, driving a car, in the middle of a road. So, though I found it to a extent humourous to sleep in a conversation, I definitely stopped smiling when it occured to me that it could be FATAL.

 

Then again, I don't think I have narcolepsy. Though, I do have sleep paralysis (so-called disorder). I want to hallucinate on more sexually-related subjects. Makes life a tad bit fufilling.*laughs* What if, it is real? That is the question. Sinister spirits; now, I feel so violated.

 

However, seriously, I rather live in reality than something that is unreal. What I learnt in my long-gone life of depression(last year)? Never let your worries transcend the mind, it's so much more horrific than death. Its all about perception...

 

Ciao.

'Juliet O' Juliet wherefore art thou, Juliet.', I says. Yea, I like her and, yea, I'm artful. I was at Mandy's 'Lunar Chap Gor' Party (the last red-packet-giving day for the Lunar new year), this day. One word, 'FUN'.

 

The 'Truth or Dare' session was so full of humour; some kissed and were caned; nope, not some bondage session. Thereafter, I got to scare the friends of Mandy-first and third years-with really... I don't want to reveal, I can use this tactic on other victim. 'Muahahahahahahahahaha!' . There was this point in the game that I had to be UNTRUTHFUL(notice the pun).

 

Henceforth, I'm in search of the heart of my fair lady, Juliet. -By the way, I'm open to other options, reason being, I'm bad at identifying love from lust; lust from infatuation. Could it be but a crush if the time exceeds a year? Or is it the angsty feeling of love... Know not I...

 

Focus on the mission, must, I; seek the hidden; the heart; the love of thee, Juliet. I wager, myself, be sickened with love. Hope not, that, I keep Juliet at bay, with these sickly proses.

 

What's happening to me? I'm becoming so Shakespeareish. Yea, I wish.

 

I hope to dream; dream to hope...

 

Ciao

Should I have woken with a rude shock? Have I not indicated that I DO NOT want a wardrobe for the time being?

 

My room is in a fucked state of clutter now. As if I had changed to this room to wallow in the mess; I wanted the space! Now, it is just lke before, perfectly FUCKED.

 

... ... ...

 

The stage where love is felt. Is it just lust or a huge tang or desperation? I know not of what I feel, though, obviously, I do want to feel it, share it.

 

Perhaps the start of my read 'Romeo and Julliet' and watching the movie that was inspired by Shakespeare, no less, has heighten that feeling. Once again, this time, is one of the many that I know not what I speak of; the sound of it makes me think its nonsensical.

 

Ah! The pangs of teenage puppy love...

 

Ciao.

Frankly, I have asked myself, 'Am I really one with myself, in the Buddhism sense.'. The answer that came to me was that I have not reached that stage.

 

Buddhism in essence, requires you to renounce ego; renounce attachment. Also, to possess true compassion; not be compassionate because it makes you feel good. I wonder, if I'm all this... Yes, compassion but then again, I have not renounced attachment fully (attachment to compassion and other things). All this is so complex to understand, I mean, to be able to move towards liberation progressively, you need to know yourself, inside out. I, for one, cannot understand some things. However, at least, I have ridded myself of depression due to my understanding of why it happened through the essential Buddhist philosophy.

 

I have never before, rely on god lesser. I do believe in the exsistance of god, still, however, you have to have the same amount of respect and belief in yourself to accomplish things; rely on yourself. My faith is morphing. Nonetheless, it is still Wicca.

 

Ciao.

 

Here's a problem. I now have the ability to feel tired at nearly all times. To make matters worse, my sleeping peiod is usually 2-4 hours with an exception of the weekends: 10 hours. Yea, even after TEN hours of sleep I feel lethargic. O', how perversely early the school can get?

 

At this rate my hot face will be compromised. 'No... Dark circles!'

 

Nevermind me, I'm not going to slip back into depression anyway. It takes too much energy to be negative. Another point, as I have previously said, I have been feeling lethargic this whole week.

 

Good Night (Figuratively speaking, though it is literally morning now.)

 

 

At last, I'm back again. Duh!

 

I have managed to catch 'I Not Stupid Too' one of the days in the week. Before, I had vivid visions of myself sobbing uncontrollably in the cinemas, as I had done so for its prequel. However, this was not the case. Yea, the movie was good, but, alas, Jack Neo had fused the really sad parts, often, with a little humour, which prevented the flow of my tears.

 

Nonetheless, I take my hat off to Jack Neo, who has, once again, potrayed Singaporean controversy on screen, fearlessly. On this note, I wonder what the government is doing...

 

Finally, now, I'm too exhausted to continue. I might return to this post someday.

 

Ciao...